Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
