can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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