Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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