Just cropdusted the office
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
third nipple confirmed
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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