Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
