WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
