I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
