i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
