Your mouth is God's brothel.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
