I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
