I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
