I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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