How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
