My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
