I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
