If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
