You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Two words: blizzard sex
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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