Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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