just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
