Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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