; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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