is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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