he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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