it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
