Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
