I just cut my nipple shaving
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
