is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
