we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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