i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
