Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
