I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
