Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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