I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
