I want to make a zoo with you.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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