About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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