his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
