Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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