im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
