i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
