We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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