you guys were way drunker than both of me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
