I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
