Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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