it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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