i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize
