found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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