Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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