Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
