So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
