Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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