Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
